


Just Another Season

by OnceUponADestiel (Jems_of_Grace)



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Destiel - Freeform, First Kiss, First Time, Fluff, Fluff and Smut, M/M, POV Dean Winchester, Romantic Fluff, Smut, Top!Cas, Work In Progress, angel!cas - Freeform, bottom!Dean, dean/cas - Freeform, minimal angst, romantic nonsense, romantic!dean, so fluffy it's actually kind of riddiculous
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-02-05
Updated: 2015-02-05
Packaged: 2018-03-10 14:58:45
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 10,091
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3294680
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Jems_of_Grace/pseuds/OnceUponADestiel
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Out of the blue, Dean and Castiel share their first kiss. But they don't really know where to go from there. They awkwardly embark upon a relationship together and along the way discover just how far their feelings really stretch for each other and how much stronger they can be together.</p><p>A year in the life of Dean and Castiel, beginning with the start of their relationship.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Just Another Season

  _March_

 

Dean couldn't tell you which one of them finally closed the distance. All he knew was that one minute they're standing there; rain pouring down on them from all sides, unrelenting streaks of grey, not quite managing to kick up a storm but having a good go non the less - and the next... they're kissing.

Not a peck on the cheek, wish you well, kind of kissing but a full blown smooch on the lips, I'll love you forever, kind of kissing. And it's deep and it's wet (mostly because of the rain) and it's really kind of beautiful.

Then the sun comes out from behind a cloud - all bright and relievingly warm amidst the coldness of the rain - and lights up a freaking rainbow in the sky, directly above their heads, like a giant arrow, pointing down on the gayest moment of Dean's life.

And maybe a tiny part of him (the part of him which doesn't find it puke worthily ironic) thinks it's actually kind of romantic and maybe he hopes Cas thinks so too, as they briefly break apart to look up at the awe inspiring sight above their heads.

 

-

 

They ran back to the bunker, drenched and shivering. There wasn't time for another kiss, no time to rush off to Dean's room and resume their frantic searching for closeness. Certainly no time to discuss what had transpired between them because the moment the door was open, Sam was there, eagerly telling them about some case he'd found. Motioning them to come in and look at something on his laptop. 

Dean felt thrown. He wanted to be with Cas but the case was important - people were dying. He wanted to tell Sam what had happened but he wasn't ready, hadn't had time to think through how he would say it. In truth, he didn't know if he'd ever be ready to describe to his baby brother how good it felt to rub Cas's tongue over with his own which was probably a good thing because he doubted Sam would want to hear it but it was virtually all he could think about right now and he knew he'd have to tell Sam something eventually. They couldn't keep this to themselves forever and Dean realized with an aching shock that he actually wanted this forever...

Castiel himself wasn't sure what was happening, only that something between him and the hunter had changed. It was a good change, he was sure of it, a new beginning that they were starting together. 

And so, in the wake of Sam's enthusiastic expression, they simply exchanged glances. Dean's eyes said  _rain check_  and Cas's eyes said  _yes, please_  and  _soon_  and that was it. And Sam maybe noticed that something was different between them but he didn't figure out what from the brief eye-lock they shared. 

So they followed him inside, Sam practically bouncing off the balls of his feet.

Then they got bogged down in the case. First with research, then with driving across three states. There was sharing a twin room, as per normal because Dean couldn't think of a logical excuse to explain why after all these years, he suddenly wanted to fork out the cash for two separate. Sam frowned at him confused when he brought it up 'But, Dean - we always share?' and Dean quickly back peddled not wanting to give his brother any reason to wonder. 'You're right, never mind...' he shrugged his shoulders and dropped it.

Then there was living in close quarters with each other, not a second of privacy. Eating together at the diner opposite the motel. There was investigating and then, naturally, more research. Cas popping in and out and Dean's heart curling into a fist until he came back. And that in itself was unexplainable. Sure, he'd always worried about his friend when he wasn't around but now he practically ached with it. He felt half-dead with dread if he was gone for more than an hour. Practically pumping with awareness that he hadn't returned with every passing second.

And all because they had shared  _one_  kiss.

And that scared Dean more than anything. What if one day they got round to sharing more than that first kiss? How would he feel when Cas left him alone then? 

One kiss and he was falling apart. He supposed it might have something to do with the fact that everything he had been thinking and feeling in that moment whilst he was kissing Cas, had been left unsaid. He'd barely had a moment to breathe since they were rushed through the bunker's doors, let alone a moment alone with his friend to say them out loud. And the always never knowing if Cas was going to come back. What if he thought that Dean didn't really care for him and that it had just been a one time thing, that he wanted to forget it ever happened? What if Cas was thinking these things - what if he didn't really care for Dean? What if, for him, it had just been a kind of experiment? Meaningless. And here was Dean falling all kinds of in love with him... again...

Or, what if, worse, because of the nature of their lives, Cas didn't make it back one day and Dean never got to tell him?

Somehow the knowledge of this seemed to make the days drag. They found the culprits of course - some undercover demons causing destruction, intent on sacrifice in an attempt to rebirth some ancient freaking deity who hadn't been seen on Earth in well over two thousand years. The target - an unborn child. It had led to a sudden influx of premature births and worse a few still born infants and more mothers dying in childbirth than had been seen at any one time in the last fifty years. All in their attempts to find a vessel that could contain him. Luckily they got to the 'pre-destined' mother before the demons did - they'd been looking in all the wrong places.

On the outskirts of town lived, people said, a woman and her son '...and anyone who goes near there seems to end up broody,' one elderly lady had informed them. The Winchesters had exchanged a glance. 'Always not long after, turns out they're pregnant! I swear!' and others had nodded when they repeated her words. So feeling a little skeptical, they set out to meet them. But when they reached their home, they found that he wasn't her son at all but her young lover. She said she was pregnant (although she wasn't showing yet) and was due mid December. She tells them that the towns people have been treating them as outcasts ever since they moved there but claimed not to know why. The Winchesters' suspect it has something to do with the sizable age gap that there seemed to be between the couple (although they don't understand how he could be mistaken for her son - he wasn't  _that_  much younger than her). If Dean had to have hazarded a guess he would have said that she was in her mid to late thirties, whilst he was in his early twenties. They were very openly romantically affectionate towards one another. 'People can be bitches,' Dean had said and Sam had frowned at his lack of professionalism but then conceded that he was right.  The couple appeared to be completely oblivious to the 'baby-making' vibes they were apparently giving out. The Winchesters' put the rumors down to town gossip and nonsense and sensing nothing malevolent from them, put up a load of warding around their home and then (with the help of Castiel) destroyed the seemingly desperate demons that still attempted to reach them.

The final evening in that motel was spent with Sam and Dean reaching out to local hunters, asking them to keep an eye out for the woman and her small family - there was no guarantee that one day more demons wouldn't return and try again. In the midst of these conversational pleas for help, Castiel slipped away quietly. Having helped to avert the rise of a powerful deity, he felt his duty was done and that as it was no longer necessary for him to stick around, he probably shouldn't.    

Dean lay awake that night, wrapped up under the thin standard issue motel sheets, silently thinking, long after his brother's snores began to drift over from the other side of the room. The case had been a horribly cruel one, one that had revealed a lot of truths and brought a lot of emotions bubbling to the surface - for both of the Winchesters'. Whilst neither of them felt particularly broody (and certainly weren't going to wind up pregnant any time soon), Dean in particular felt stung by the harsh reality of it. On the other hand, Sam had long since accepted that that was a part of life he'd never come close to and it wasn't worth wanting after something that seemed almost like make-believe. They lived in such a dangerous world, led such dangerous lives - it wasn't safe, raising a kid. And Dean figured he'd probably never have the chance, even if he dared.

The mother had said something to that affect. Something along the lines of, sometimes you've just got to take a chance, give it your best shot - you can't live in fear and if you do, well, that's not really living at all. No, there's no point living in fear. 'If we did, the human race would have ended a  _long_  time ago...' that's what she'd said. Dean knew she was right. She had seemed like a wise one, kinda deep...

How long had he been waiting to begin living?

If he was honest with himself, since he was about four years old...

That's why he suddenly sat up, like a decision had been made for him. He swung his legs out of bed and walked across the room as silently as humanly possible. When he reached the door, he looked back at his brother, the steady rise and fall of his chest confirmed that he was still sleeping deeply.

With a slight grin which conveyed his sudden excitement, Dean slipped through the door and out into the motel parking lot. It was as he was edging around the back of the building that he was hit by a steadily worsening progression of nerves which basically all boiled down to:  _what if Cas doesn't come?_

He had exchanged nothing more than a brief glance with Dean that evening, before he had disappeared with a slight flutter of his wings. Dean had wanted to say something, so bad:  _stay._  But he hadn't had the chance and Sam was  _right there_  and then Cas was gone.

And now here he was, putting himself out on the line for him, without a clue what to say. And he might not even show.

As he reached the back of the building which backed out onto a plantation, he began to pray, coming to a pause as the first line of trees came into sight. 'Cas? Dunno if you're listening but I need to see you. I'm outside the woods at the back of the motel. Can you hear me?'

There was another flutter of wings and his friend materialized about a foot in front of him. 'Hello, Dean. I can always hear you.'

'Hey, Cas. Um, right...' he felt his heart making a motion that was somehow similar to the sound of Cas's wings. 

'You needed to see me?'

'Yeah. Um-' and he found himself just starring at him as he stood there waiting patiently for Dean to begin. The stars were painted up behind him like the crowning backdrop for a - well, an  _angel_ \- who was so freaking perfect but simultaneously kind of scary. What the hell was he supposed to say? 'So, um... yeah - I need to talk to you about what happened the other week.' He wasn't entirely sure that Cas would know from this vague sentence, what  _exactly_  he was talking about. He also half suspected that  _kissing Dean Winchester_  had been such a small thing to Cas, nothing more than a blip in his protracted existence and hardly worth keeping in the fore front of his memory. But to Dean's surprise (and absolute relief) he found the angel nodding.

'Ah, yes. I was wondering if this would come up. You are referring to when we were kissing.'

'Yes!'  _Phew!_ 'Yes, that's exactly it. Um...' he took a step closer to his friend who seemed to be standing at an unusually (for him) large distance. 'I wanted to talk but there just hasn't been time what with the case and Sammy and-' he was babbling. He took a deep breath and tried again. '... so - you've been thinking about it?'

'Yes, Dean. Of course...' it was Cas's turn to take an eager step forward and Dean gave a nervous laugh. 'I have been wondering... if it were to happen  _again_ -'

'Yes!' said Dean, too quickly.

'Yes?' Cas seemed unsure of his meaning.

'Yes. I want to. Again.' Cas cocked his head to one side, a slight frown appearing above his eyebrows.

'Are you sure-?' but before Cas could finish the question, Dean had closed the remaining space between them and with one hand on the back of his neck, pulled him in, planting his lips on those chapped pink ones.

And,  _oh hell_ , it felt so good! Dean had tried to believe that his recollection of their previous kiss must have been warped, that no kiss ever felt  _that_ good.But his memory had been untampered. The feel of Cas pressed up against him... well, it was  _fucking glorious_  is what it was and  _damn_ , he was a good kisser!

Dean broke away, a little breathless, starring at Cas's wide blue eyes, a small smile beginning to break his features. And suddenly Dean wanted to say everything because life was too fucking short to wait another day. 'I want to do that again,' Cas began to lean forward but Dean carried on babbling. 'I mean, like  _lots_. All the time.'

'Okay.'

'Like, every day,' he dared to say it. Cas nodded, smiling but he seemed more eager to resume kissing than to listen to Dean's barely legible train of thought. His eyes kept flickering between Dean's eyes and lips like he was completely distracted and wasn't sure where to lay his attention. 'You're it for me, Cas.' Dean cupped his stubbled jaw in his hand and leaned in so that their foreheads were pressed together. 'Do you want to?'

'Yes,' and he said it so assuredly, like there was really no other answer anyway. So Dean kissed him again, soft but deep, hands on either side of his face, feeling the prickles of hair beneath his fingers and pressing up closer into him. And Cas was drawing him even closer, enveloping him in his arms that had wrapped around his waist and locked their hips together. Dean felt like he was falling into him, becoming a part of him so that he didn't know where he ended and Cas began.

 

 

 

_April_

 

Cas stuck by what he said, returning each day but finding time away from Sam to snatch more than the odd kiss was proving difficult. He had never got under Dean's feet before but suddenly Sam seemed to be  _everywhere_. Whenever Cas showed up, Sam was just around the corner and upon seeing his friend would launch into a conversation which often times seemed to involve asking weird complex questions that required extensively detailed answers. 

And at first, Dean didn't think anything of it because Sam had always had a thousand and one questions for Cas but when Dean missed out on alone time with Cas three days in a row because of Sam, he started to feel irritable and a little reckless. Sam would leave the room to go grab something from the library and Dean would jump Cas for all of three seconds before springing away as soon as he heard the sound of his brother's returning footsteps. There wouldn't be time for explanation, he'd just fly across the room and attach their lips together and then Sam would be back and Cas would be starring at him looking bemused and Sam probably caught sight of that look once or twice and wondered what was going on. But he didn't say anything so Dean offered no explanation whilst Cas appeared oblivious. 

The trouble was, there were only so many realistic sounding excuses for dragging Cas away from Sam. And short of telling Sam what was actually happening (and Dean was so not ready for  _that_  conversation) he'd find it very odd if Dean randomly pulled Cas away and into his bedroom (always remembering to lock the door behind them, of course). Yeah, that was a sure way to rouse Sam's suspicions.

One time when they did actually have five minutes alone time, they actually wound up talking to each other. I mean, seriously,  _what the fuck?_

Cas had been running his hands down Dean's chest, testingly inserting the tips of his fingers beneath the waist band on Dean's jeans when his confession had slipped out: 'I dunno what I'm doing.' 

'I'm sure you know exactly what you're doing, Dean. You have a great deal of sexual experience.'

'Yeah but - never with another man!'

Cas paused, starring hard at him. 'I see.'

'I mean,' Dean countered, beginning to wonder what Cas was thinking. 'I always wanted to, just never... got around to it... exactly...'

'Exactly?'

'Yeah, well... I dunno what I was thinking when I was a demon but I swear I fucked anything that moved.'

Cas's voice was clipped as he said; 'You didn't fuck me,' and boy was  _that_  hot, his angel swearing like that. And was that a hint of jealousy he detected?

'Yeah, well,' Dean nuzzled into Cas's neck. 'Only 'cause I never had the chance. I wanted to.' Cas starred at him skeptically.  'I remember thinking about calling you, at least a dozen times but I figured you'd kill me or hand me over to Sam and I guess the survival side of demon Dean won out over my sexual appetite. Self preservation and all.'

'The memories are clear?'

'Yeah... but... this still kinda feels like my first time with a guy... I dunno... it's kinda like looking back and watching someone else do those things...kinda...'

'But it bothers you - you regret doing those things?' he had withdrawn his hands but they still stood jammed close together, closeted inside a cupboard in an attempt to find some privacy from Sam. Dean had wanted to go outside but it had been pouring with rain again, it hadn't stopped for weeks. So instead, Dean had motioned to the nearest closed door and they'd stumbled inside, alternatively giggling and kissing.

'Um,' how had everything suddenly got so serious? 'Kind of. Some of it. Most of it actually...'

Cas's head tipped sideways as he struggled to comprehend Dean's thought patterns. 'You regret fucking men?'

'Um,' Dean wasn't sure if he was imagining the note of danger in Cas's voice. 'I mean, I remember that I enjoyed it. I remember not caring. I remember thinking I was stupid for not doing something about it before... think I was trying to make up for lost time at one point,' he said, eyes wide and shaking his head in disbelief. '... still kinda think that...'

'Think what?'

'That I was stupid - not figuring it out sooner... It's just... I wish I'd figured it out when I was human, y'know...'

'I see... but then, isn't  _this_  just like you figuring that out  _now?'_

'Kind of, yeah... just wish I'd figured it out with you in the first place.' Castiel didn't really know what to say to that. He had regrets too. 'And I do really want to do  _that_  with you and everything but I'm maybe just a little nervous and-'

'That?' Cas asked, apparently puzzled.

Dean cleared his throat before he clarified: 'fucking'.

'Oh.'

'Yeah, oh...' he started panicking, worried that he'd over-stepped the mark. 'I mean, d'you want to-'

'Yes.'

'Yes?'

'And everything.'

'Fuck, Cas!'

'I want to be with you in every way, Dean.'

Dean paused, starring at the sincerity on his friend's face. 'I want you to fuck me, Cas.' He wasn't sure if he imagined the speed at which Cas's pupils drowned out his beautiful blue irises but it was kind of freakishly hot. Dean felt a sudden need to clarify; 'I-I, I mean: not right this second, obviously. Ha ha-' Cas's silence was ever so slightly unnerving. 'But soon.'

'I-I think I would like that, Dean,' he finally said, the blue of his eyes reappearing and Dean let out a shaky sigh of relief. 'I think it might also be worth noting that I've never done this before either-'

'Sure you have,' Dean cut in, a little bitterly. 'There was that one time with-'

'I meant, as an angel,' Castiel responded a tad testily. 'But also, with a man. I am given to understand that the mechanics are quite-'

'Whoah, there.'

'But I assure you Dean, I have no expectations. Your experience certainly surpasses my own.'

'It's gonna be perfect,' he said, rubbing his thumb over Cas's lips and trembling slightly because, yeah, he was a little scared. He'd never done this before, not whilst he was human anyway... and maybe Cas was a little nervous too but that was okay because Dean would be there for him, he'd make it good for him... Dean didn't mention the other thing that he was worried about - namely the size of Cas's cock and how much it might hurt (he couldn't get the Chrysler building size image out of his head and was only too glad he didn't have to take on Cas's true form because that he wouldn't be able to handle...) but this was  _Cas_  and he trusted him implicitly. 

 

-

 

It was a bright day, the last day of April. Spring was long set in and early signs of Summer's approach had begun to appear. It was Sam that had chosen the day really (not that he knew it). 'Dean, can you just give me one day to get a load of work done?' he'd asked when the three of them where sitting in the library.

'What?'

'I just need like  _a good few hours_ , I swear. I feel like if I could just get a good start on all this archiving, we'd actually be getting somewhere. But I can't concentrate, 'cause you two always seem to be around, distracting me!' Dean gawped at his brother, open mouthed.

He shared a look with Cas that basically said:  _we need to take advantage of this situation._ Did he really have no idea that it was  _him_  getting in the way of  _them?_ A spark of excitement began to set in, he could actually hug Sam right now, if that wouldn't give the game away. Instead he settled for a celebratory fist pump beneath the table when Sam was looking the other way, saying 'Yes!' under his breath. Cas just grinned at him as Dean finally managed to splutter out, 'Uh, sure.' 

'I'll be down in the basement and in the archives all evening. Might take some food with me... I know once I get started I won't stop so don't want have to keep leaving the room... Would today be okay - it's just, we haven't got any big cases lined up at the moment, so it might be a good time? '

'Uh, yeah.'

'Like seriously -  _no_   _disruptions!_ '

'Yeah, yeah, I get it. No disruptions.' Sam got up and turned his back to them as he started looking for something on one of the bookshelves. 'I'll make sure me and Cas stay  _well_  out of the way,' said Dean starring across at Cas with a wide grin, mouthing across the table 'Meet me after seven?' Cas nodded with a smile that warmed Dean right down to his toes and he didn't realize it but he was smiling back.

'Thank's Dean, I-' Sam turned back around and saw the way they were looking at each other.  _Adoring_  - that was the only way to describe it and Sam had caught them but they were too wrapped up in each other to notice. '-I really appreciate it,' he smirked.  _Idiots._

'Yeah, don't mention it.' 

Around six thirty, Dean made his way to the kitchen. Sam had been shuttered away down in the basement for over an hour now and there was no sign of him emerging any time soon. He'd taken a packed lunch and reiterated the point of not wanting to be disturbed unless it was an emergency which meant that someone better be dying or there'd be hell to pay. 

Dean packed a picnic, although he didn't have a basket (and he would have felt stupid carrying one of those Little Red Riding Hood, wicker work affairs anyway), so he used his backpack, emptying out all the other junk first. He made sure to pack a couple of thick plaid blankets he'd found in a cupboard and also, rather self-consciously, a tiny bottle of lube (just in case - because you never knew when a situation might call for lubricant!).

Having done that he went to get changed - a fresh pair of jeans and one of his new shirts - red or green? Dean took a minute to decide but then opted for the dark red with short sleeves because the air had seemed kind of warm today. He checked his face; clean, day-old stubble, eyes - not too bad, more refreshed than usual (he seemed to have been getting more sleep lately) and kind of excited looking - not that he would say that out loud. Not perfect but he'd do, or at least, he hoped Cas would think so... because  _fuck_ , he couldn't believe how nervous he was. He supposed it was because Cas  _really_  mattered. He wasn't some one night stand, just rolling through town, probably never gonna see you again, kinda thing... He was more of a, want to see you again tomorrow, and every day that follows, kinda thing... 

He left his room, grabbed his backpack from the kitchen and headed out into the main room just in time to see Cas materialize besides the front door. 'Hey, Cas,' he said, grinning up at him.

'Hello, Dean.' Dean walked up the stairs to meet him. 'Is Sam-?'

'Busy,' he said, holding onto Cas's waist and pressing a kiss into the corner of his mouth. It felt so good to do that, like something straight out of a domestic fantasy - he didn't even have to ask! He could feel Cas smiling beneath his lips. 'What?'

Cas shook his head, 'I don't know. I couldn't help it.' Dean pressed another small kiss to Cas's lips. He smiled again.

'You just like me kissing you, don't you.'

'I would have thought that was obvious, Dean,' and this time, Cas reached for him but kissed him deeply, his tongue flickering over his bottom lip and Dean let him in and let himself get caught in the moment almost forgetting his plan entirely. Eventually he pulled away although Cas looked disgruntled. Dean chuckled.

'You're so cute,' he said which only served to make the angel look even more grumpy.

'Are we going somewhere?' he asked, eyeing the bag slung over Dean's shoulder.

'Yeah, I thought we could.' Cas nodded and they walked out of the door together. Dean hadn't had much time to explore the countryside which surrounded the bunker so they set off together a little aimlessly, strolling side by side, not holding hands but occasionally accidentally brushing up against each other. To their surprise, about ten minutes into their walk, they came across a lake which spread out over the countryside before them, the waters were clear and still. Dean wondered if this was what was acting as the reservoir for the bunker. It was surrounded by trees and other plant life and he could hear the chirruping of birds and the scurrying of other small wildlife between their branches. Dean looked around for a flat spot and found one beneath the boughs of a couple of far reaching trees. The ground sloped down at a slight gradient beneath them, looking out over the lake and the horizon beyond it. It was perfect. There was a flat enough spot in the midst of their roots and the scattering of bluebells that had chosen to spring up there. Dean took out one of the blankets from his backpack and spread it out. Cas gave him a curious look but sank down and then pulled Dean down onto the blanket beside him. Dean gave a lighthearted laugh and scooched in closer to kiss him, sweet and tender. It hadn't rained for several days now so the ground was dry. The sky was just beginning to deepen to a slightly duskier shade of blue, the odd thin slice of cloud scudding across it. 

'What is this, Dean?'

'Picnic,' he said beginning to unpack his bag. 'I know you don't need to eat and stuff but-' Cas reached over and cupped his face, capturing another kiss. They ate kneeling down, side by side - it wasn't much, just sandwiches, left over pie and a bottle of water - but it was sweet and easy and Dean didn't think he'd smiled so much,  _ever._ By the time the food was gone (Dean ate most of it) a slight chill had begun to set in the evening air but Dean wasn't ready to return to the bunker just yet. The sun was visible just beyond the lake, the sky a smoky blue tinged with grey and strips of pink. 

Dean kicked off his shoes and lay down, crossing his arms behind his head and looking across at Cas who was starring broodingly back at him. 'C'mere,' he said and so Cas followed suit, kicking off his shoes and lying down besides him, mimicking Dean's pose. Dean pulled the other blanket out of his bag and draped it over them, snuggling into Cas's side, the delicate scent of bluebells filling the air around them. They shared the odd grin as they pretended to watch the sunset but really they were too caught up in each other to notice the sky change to that particular shade of hazy orange, streaked through with pink. Too busy starring at each other to see the magnificent way the sun seemed to drop out of the sky and into the lake. 

And then Cas reached across a hand, a solemn look on his face and stroked down the side of Dean's face, sending tingles running through him. Dean leaned into his touch and then his fingers were trailing down his arm lighting up sparks beneath the surface of his skin. Dean reached back across to touch Cas's face and then pulled him in closer, kissing him almost desperately. Trying to convey what he wanted without words and of course Cas knew. He'd always known really...

They had been intensely attracted to one another from day one. For Dean it was his body and his face, his eyes and his hair, the way he moved and the sound of his voice. For Cas it was the way his soul lit up, the intensity of his gaze, the passion in his voice, the way he was so sure of what was right and what was wrong. And this now, pressing together - so close - had them both breathing into the other's mouth 'At last, at last...'

It all seemed so easy after that. By now the sky had turned a rich purplish color tinged with pinks and golds and the fine crescent moon was lit up clearly, directly above their heads.

Dean loved kissing Cas, it felt almost unreal it was so good. 'Cas?' And then he was hastily removing his shirt before stripping Cas down too, feeling the heat, skin on skin somehow enough to keep him warm beneath the single blanket despite the chill of the evening air (later Dean suspected that Cas had been using his grace to warm him) but in that moment he thought nothing of it, too distracted and utterly absorbed in the feel of Cas pressed up naked next to him. Being this close to Cas was starting to go to Dean's head, making all other thoughts disappear. He wriggled out of his jeans and through them on top of the steadily forming pile of clothes at the side of the blanket. Cas undid his dress pants - and for a second Dean's brain short circuited, his face flushing a shade of rose that Cas found incredibly endearing - and pulled them off, adding them to the pile by Dean's side. 'C'mere, c'mere!'

'Dean,' and Cas had to visibly restrain himself from leaping on top of him which was all shades of hot. He knew Dean was nervous so he made himself be gentle, pulling his face closer and kissing down the side, from the top of his head, down to his chin and then further, down his neck and all whilst holding him close and pressing him up against his chest, their legs tangling together and gently moving, feeling the coarse hairs rub along side each other.

'Mmm,' Dean wriggled closer, clasping his arms around his back, desperate to give Cas easier access and he found himself involuntarily making little sounds in his throat that only served to encourage the angel to kiss and lick further down. Then Dean took Cas's head into his hands again and kissed him deeply. He came away breathing fast and Cas's eyes were wide, dark and glittering. Dean had been dreaming about seeing Cas like this for months. 

Dean said it first which was surprising but probably only happened because Cas didn't realize that this was the right time. 'I love you,' and he was more surprised to hear himself say it than Cas was to hear it at all. Dean gawped, appalled at the words that had seemed to tumble unbidden from his lips, falling out of his mouth before he could stop them. But Cas only smiled.

'I know. It's okay. I love you too. Always.'

'Fuck,' only Cas would understand Dean's shock. Cas - who has seen him at his worst, has seen him angry, stubborn and stupid... Cas who knows all his flaws and who is so incredibly perfect himself - professes to love  _him_ , Dean Winchester?

'I know,' he answered, feeling some awe himself - Dean knew all the mistakes he had made, how many people had died because of him... Dean had lived in the darkest parts of the world for almost all of his life and yet still he shone brighter than anything else Castiel had ever known... Cas had seen him patient, kind and demanding and yet here he was, choosing a lowly angel (most certainly undeserving) to love.  

And Cas found himself caressing Dean's shoulders, stroking down his chest, hands wondering lower and watching as his eyes became unfocused. 'You're so beautiful,' he murmured under his breath as Dean moved restlessly under his hands, twining himself closer.  

'Want you so bad, Cas,' he said, his voice sounding tight as he stared up at his friend. He seemed so strong and gorgeously masculine. So different to what he was used to but somehow, so much  _more_  than everything else. Dean let his own hands wonder over miles of skin, his chest, his back, his face... all so familiar, yet so different now that he found himself intimate with them... and he swore soft blasphemies into the crevice of his neck before planting more kisses there. It was just so easy, there was none of the awkwardness that Dean had experienced during previous sexual encounters. It was like they'd been doing this all their lives.

It felt so good and neither of them had even removed their boxers yet. Dean knew he was rock solid hard and he was pleased to feel Cas's own erection pressing down onto him. It made him feel dizzy, knowing Cas wanted him like that. He pulled slightly away from Cas to remove that last teasing piece of clothing, tossing them onto the pile besides him and turned back around to see that Cas had done the same. 'Fuck.'

His cock stood out straight, hard and heavy, the tip flushed a gorgeous pink color, the length speckled with tiny dark hairs and Dean, who never thought he would, loved it instantly. He had the sudden urge to rub his face up against it and feel it bounce off his cheeks but before he had a chance, Cas was already on him, kissing deep into his mouth, his tongue lapping around the inside of his cheeks. He seemed to be seeking out every corner to massage and fill with his wondering tongue. The pair of them fell back against the blanket together making indistinguishable murmurs. Arms and legs clinging together, tangling tight. Neither had ever dreamed anything so perfect. Dean was dimly aware of a need to express this feeling to Cas; 'Can't believe this is happening. Feels so right - everything...' and he was breathless, gasping into Cas's mouth as their cocks rubbed up against each other. Fuck the sunset, he could happily do this until the sun rose again next morning.

Cas could feel Dean's breath up against his cheek, his tongue tickling inside his ear. He had never imagined that it could be like this - fun and sweet and perfect - to be loved, to be wanted... and he could feel that Dean's soul was somehow involved in this, reaching out to him, strong, vibrant and excited. 

Dean was worried that he might cum like this, desperately grasping at Cas and even though it felt incredible it was still  _teasing_ , the minimal amount of friction that their cocks could afford, rubbing besides each other. He couldn't get close enough... wanted to get closer, deeper, wanted to lock Cas inside of him and never let him go. 'Want you inside me, Cas,' he finally managed to gasp out loud. 

'Yes... how?'

'I think - think you need to open me up,' he sat up quickly, resenting the loss of warmth from Cas's body. He quickly pulled his backpack over and started rustling through the remaining contents until he found, at the bottom, the small bottle of lube. He took one of Cas's hands in his own and squirted a sizable amount out of the bottle and over his fingers. He slowly lay back, still holding tight onto Cas's hand and guiding Cas's fingers between his legs and towards the small circle of puckered skin, watching his face the whole time. Cas starred back as Dean began to move his hand, so that his forefinger began to run in small circular motions. Dean let go of Cas's hand with a gasp but Cas didn't stop. He continued to hold Dean's gaze, his own face serious but somehow reassuring. Cas didn't need guidance anymore, he had a good idea what Dean needed him to do. 

Dean gasped again as the tip of Cas's finger dipped into the center but it hadn't been a bad feeling, just a little strange. Cas carefully watched Dean's eyes as he did it again, a slight widening of surprise but not a rejection and Dean realized that he actually liked the sensation and without thinking about it, found himself following Cas's finger as he retracted it, desperate to feel the slight pressure against him again. Cas's eyes darkened further, leaving only the narrowest stormy blue circumference bordering the outer edge of his pupils. 

The next time he pushed in a little further but Dean was ready for it this time and pushed down to meet him. Cas didn't pull out straight away, instead leaning over to kiss him, deeply, somehow sensing that he needed the distraction. And then he gently began to work his finger out and then in again, picking up a steady rhythm. 

'More, Cas!' he could hardly believe that he was begging for this of all things. 

Cas actually smirked down at him before entering a second finger at a teasingly slow speed. Dean gasped again but didn't let the shock of feeling so full stop himself from enjoying the sensation. He began to move up and down himself, desperately fucking himself on Cas's fingers.

Without any hesitation this time, Cas entered a third finger and Dean let loose a peculiarly guttural noise. Cas's fingers began scissoring apart and Dean felt his eyes roll into the back of his head as one of Cas's fingertips tickled over his prostate. 

'Fuck, Cas! Need you... right now!' Cas full on grinned this time, retracting all of his fingers and making Dean mourn their loss with a disgruntled noise. 

As soon as he was out, Dean was reaching for the lube and squirting liberal amounts into the palm of his hand before reaching for Cas's cock, feeling that firm sold weight between his fingers and palm for the first time as he began to apply the soft slick almost jelly like liquid. He gave him a few quick, firm jerks, much the same as he might do to himself and Cas gave a surprised moan of his own. It was Dean's turn to smirk. Damn, if he thought that felt good... well, he really had no idea what was coming... 

Dean kissed him again, wet and hard and without a great deal of finesse. And then he was guiding his cock, in the same way he had guided his hand, until the tip of it was pressed up hard against his entrance. Cas's eyes were blown wide.

Dean would be lying if he said that he didn't know a moment of fear but then it was gone as Cas began to press forward and every other thought he'd ever had seemed to evaporate. It was kind of strange and there was the barest tinge of burning pain as his skin stretched to accommodate the not inordinate size of Cas's cock. Cas's eyes fluttered closed for a second, his lips parted as he felt the delicious warmth of Dean encompass him, wet and oh so tight.

As he bottomed out, Cas found himself hesitating for the first time. The feeling of being surrounded by Dean went beyond amazing. They were literally as close as it was physically possible to be and some kind of almost animalistic instinct was telling him he needed to thrust but he was frightened of hurting him. Dean was trusting him in a way that he had never trusted anyone else and here was Cas, scared of loosing control. 

'Move, Cas!' was all the motivation he needed. Cas began to thrust in and out, making Dean gasp. He felt stunned, the sensation of being so completely filled up strange but not unwelcome. Dean watched his angel happily, he was normally so cool, calm, collected and yet, here he was completely loosing control for Dean... At one point he must have hit his prostate because Dean let out a shaky noise and called out 'There! Right there - do that again!'  Cas did as he was told. 'Mmm-' Dean's eyes fluttered closed. The sensations surpassed incredible, he couldn't get enough of Dean calling his name as he seemed to completely loose control. Cas could feel himself getting close now. He knew he wasn't going to last long but he determinedly held on, wanting Dean to tip over the edge first.

Cas rubbed his cock up against Dean's prostate again, over and over and with sudden inspiration, took hold of Dean's own cock (which had been lying erect but forgotten between them) and began to pump him up and down, watching Dean's face, his mouth falling open, as he felt the perfect fit of Cas's hand wrapped firmly around him. The combination of this with the regular hit up against him prostate was causing Dean to come undone and he didn't seem to be in control of what was coming out of his mouth anymore, calling out 'yesss!' and quietly 'fuck!' and 'Ca-aas!' and several more 'fuck's. 

He was utterly lost, calling out his name as he fell apart, cum spurting out of his cock and all over Cas's hand as he orgasmed harder than he'd ever known before. Cas followed soon after, shooting hard, breathing heavily and flopping down on top of Dean, his heart pumping almost painfully. Cas pulled up again so that he could stare down at Dean beneath him. He loved seeing Dean like this - heartbreakingly beautiful as he always is and now all sexed out - his eyes blinking heavily and sparking between green and black, his full lips, so pink and perfectly shaped, his tongue darting out to wet them, his golden freckles standing out in sharp relief against his flushed face and his hair, golden-brown and slightly damp with sweat.

Dean reached up a hand and trailed it down the side of Cas's face, he looked beautifully broken, still panting slightly, his dark hair sticking up every which way and his eyelids half-closed.

For a second Dean let his eyes wonder to the sky above them. It was a deep indigo now, the first stars beginning to appear, almost seeming to sparkle into existence. Cas shivered, looking oddly human and Dean wondered if that meant he had truly fallen now. 

 

 

 

_May_

 

About a week into May, Dean was in the kitchen stirring a pan of chili over the stove. Smoky scents had just begun to drift out of the pan when Cas appeared by his side. 'Hello, Dean.'

'Cas!' 

'What are you doing?'

'Making chili. Smells awesome doesn't it?'

'It does have a distinctly flavorsome aroma, yes.' Dean realized then that they were alone - why were they talking about food? They should be taking advantage of the situation. He abandoned his stirring, reaching for Cas's face and Cas knew without words, exactly what Dean was asking for. He gravitated towards Dean's hand, smiling. Their lips connected and it was sweet and easy like they'd done it a thousand times before rather than a small handful.

But it was over before it started. The sound of heavy footfalls were echoing down the hall (honestly Dean never knew how Sam managed stealth when they were out on hunts) and the sound of a voice calling out; 'God, Dean - that smells amazing!' They broke apart, Dean fuming in silence as he turned back to the pan just as Sam walked into the room. There was a slight pink tinge to Dean's cheeks owing to the fact that Cas continued to stare hungrily as him, completely unabashed (and it had nothing to do with the chili). 

Sam looked between the two of them obviously sensing that he'd interrupted something but not entirely sure what. He shrugged his shoulders - if it was important, he felt sure that Dean would tell him. 'Hey, Cas. Didn't know you was here.'

'He just popped in,' Dean said as he began to dish out the food. They ate in companionable silence (apart from Sam saying that the chili was awesome and Cas saying he felt a little overwhelmed by the different flavor sensations he was experiencing). Not long after, Cas popped out again and Dean tried not to let it get to him.

 

-

 

Sam was down in the archives again (obsessively compiling everything onto his laptop) when Cas reappeared. Dean felt like he'd been waiting forever and with a bubble of excitement practically jumped him. He dragged Cas into his room, closed the door and pushed him down onto his bed. Fuck, it felt so good just to kiss him and not have to worry about Sammy for five minutes.

Cas pushed Dean off and sat up on the bed so that they were both kneeling side by side. He leaned in grinning from ear to ear and Dean couldn't keep his hands off him - they were in Cas's hair and running over stubble, 'Mmm,' and caressing shoulders and snaking further down and Cas took it all without complaint, giving back as good as he was getting. 'Stay tonight?'

'What?'

'I mean, unless you have somewhere else you'd rather be?' he realized he'd sounded a bit demanding, not to mention, needy.

'You're my favorite place to be.'

'So why're you always leaving?' and if he didn't sound needy before, well, he certainly did now.

'I didn't know I was allowed to stay.'

'You can. As often as you want,' he knows he sounds desperate but he's past caring - it had taken them  _years_  to get to this point, he wasn't going to wait any longer.

'Okay,' said Cas, smiling and they were kissing again and then the door handle was turning and they broke apart so fast, Dean cricked his neck.

Sam burst in excitedly and started talking at crazy speeds, 'Hey, Dean - you've  _got_  to see this-' he stopped talking mid-sentence, blinking fast and starring between the two men kneeling close together on Dean's bed. 'Oh hey, Cas,' he said in a voice that maybe reached a slightly higher pitch than it ordinarily would have done. 'Didn't know you was here,' Dean was surreptitiously moving himself away from Cas - hoping his brother hadn't noticed their close proximity - and rubbing his neck gingerly, trying not to grimace. Sam looked between them curiously, a small smile beginning to play about his mouth but he quickly tread it down and replaced it with a kind of mock sobriety and all Dean could think was:  _fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck._

But Sam (being the good brother that he was) didn't say anything about it, just dragged them off to the library to show them some dreary document that had got him all excited. Dean rolled his eyes at Cas who smiled fondly back at him. Sam narrowed his eyes at them, not that either of them noticed.

The article led them to a case and for the next week and a half, they found themselves three states over desperately dealing with some creatures that hadn't been seen in hundreds of years and wondering where the hell they had sprouted up from. The clue was probably in the sentence.

Cas made time to turn up during the night, only going visible when he had ascertained that Sam was asleep. He would lie down besides Dean and they would kiss each other silly - hands roaming beneath shirts, over muscle, threading through fine chest hairs - and then, the next minute, Sam would give an especially loud snore or Dean would yawn (because  _damn_ , he had been working hard for this case) and then Cas would disappear and Dean would punch his pillow. 

 

-

 

Cas stood in the grocery store, starring at the pies laid out before him. There were so many different ones and he wasn't entirely sure which one Dean favored - he seemed to love all pie equally - but that didn't make this decision any easier. The trouble was that on the surface they all looked exactly the same, no matter what fillings they alluded to. He must have been starring at the shelves, rubbing his chin for a good half-an-hour before he came to the conclusion that he couldn't go wrong if he bought one of each so he started stacking them up in his basket. On his way to check out he bypassed an aisle that was full of books and magazines. By chance he caught sight of the cookbooks, at the forefront of which was a baking book, a beautiful selection of cakes displayed on the front cover.

He paused for a moment, starring at the book as he pondered whether Dean would maybe prefer a home-baked pie. He dropped the basket and made a beeline for the it, flickering through the pages until he found an entire chapter on pies. There were quite a few to choose from - blueberry and key lime and apple... Castiel thought the apple pie in particular looked nice, with pastry leaf decorations and the sprinkles of sugar. 

He abandoned the basket of pies and started roaming around the store, stacking up the ingredients in his hands.  _Flour, butter, sugar, cinnamon..._ it was when he reached the apples that he realized his mistake, trying to balance the various ingredients in his arms whilst weighing the apples in his hands. He reached the checkout, placing each of the apples out individually on the conveyor-belt. The lady behind the till raised her eyebrows but didn't say anything as she started to scan the items through. Castiel still had his nose buried in the book, reading through the recipe, '... a nine-inch pie dish, greased...' he looked up at the checkout lady, a look of horror in his eyes. 'I forgot the nine-inch pie dish!' She stared at him for a second and then pointed towards one of the aisles were a load of ovenware and baking equipment were stacked up. Castiel thanked her and headed off in the proposed direction. He quickly picked out a plain white porcelain dish before checking out and returning to the bunker.

He couldn't tell you why he was doing this. He'd just had a sudden urge to do something that would make Dean happy and he figured getting him a pie would probably do the trick. Maybe on some level he was aware that seeing Dean happy, made him feel happy. 

The brothers still hadn't returned from their hunt but Cas knew that they were due back by night fall, so he materialized directly into the kitchen and set to work making the pastry.

He had thought, having read through the instructions three or four times, that it would be a relatively easy process. Unfortunately he found this assumption to be sadly mistaken. The first batch of pastry was really dry and wouldn't come together at all. Cas tried adding more water and forcing the flour and butter mixture together with his hands. He wound up with a lumpy mess that refused to roll out without crumbling up. He through the mess away, feeling a little unnerved that it hadn't gone as easily as he'd expected. 

He sat down with his phone and started flicking through advice on the internet. 'Keep all the ingredients cold' he read on one site. He hadn't seen _that_  in the book. 'There should be at least half the amount of fat, to the amount of flour,' he read somewhere else. He cast a glance back at the baking book -  _not enough butter_ , he realized irritably. 

He tried again and this time the pastry came together easily and rolled out smoothly. He stared happily at the flat pastry sheet but quickly became frustrated when he realized that it had stuck against the work surface. He sighed in exasperation.  _Pastry_ , who knew?

He rolled it out again, this time remembering to put down plenty of flour underneath. After that it came together quite easily; layering the pastry into the dish, cooking the apples in butter and cinnamon and sugar, the delicious waft of caramel coming from the pan as he poured the sliced apples into the pie dish. He added a final layer of pastry over the top and even attempted to cut out some of those pastry leaves that had attracted him to the pie in the first place (though his didn't seem to look half as professional - he wasn't even entirely sure that they looked like leaves...) He finished the pie off with a brush of egg wash and a large sprinkling of sugar before putting it in the oven.

It was just a matter of waiting now. He cast his eyes about the kitchen and realized he'd made a lot of mess - there seemed to be flour over every surface and a variety of bowls, pans and utensils stacked in the sink. He quickly set about cleaning. 

Half-an-hour passed and the kitchen was sparkling, the smell of baked pie coming from the oven, tantalizing and the sound of the bunker door opening, welcoming... Cas smiled and switched off the oven.

Sam and Dean stepped into the bunker and shared a look, 'Is it just me or does it smell like pie in here?'

'No. It's not just you. Weird. Did you leave the oven on or-'

'No, I did not!' Dean butted in irritably. 'And I doubt the bunker would still be standing if I had.' They were both tired. It had been a long day and they were relieved that the case was over - neither was in the mood for another mystery the second they walked through the door.

The pair of them made their way to the kitchen. Dean in the lead and he paused in the doorway, slightly open-mouthed.

Cas was stood there wearing a pin-striped blue apron and oven gloves, covered from top to toe in flour and holding a freshly baked golden pie in his hands and a big cheesy grin on his face. 

'Dean, what-?' asked Sam from behind him, pushing past his older brother. 'Oh. Hey, Cas. Did you-' he took in Cas's appearance and then spotted the dish in his hands. 'Um, wow. Did you bake that yourself?' It was a bit of a stupid question in Dean's opinion - I mean, the dude had flour all down his apron and clinging to the hairs on his arms.

'Yes, Sam. It took me a while to get the pastry right but-' Dean wasn't really listening, all he could think about was how hot Cas looked right now; his blue eyes sparkling, flour in his hair and a proud little smile on his face as he answered Sam's questions. He would jump him right there and then if his little brother wasn't standing right next to him. 

'What kinda pie-?' he was saying 

'Apple.'

'Fuck,' said Dean. They both looked at him. Sam smirked. Cas looked confused and then Sam turned back around.

'Any particular reason why-?'

'Shut up, Sam.'

'What?'

'I said  _shut up_.'

'Um, 'kay-' 

'I need to tell you something,' he said in a rush not tearing his eyes away from Cas. He felt a nervous flutter in his stomach as he tried to find the right words but he couldn't do this anymore; the hiding, the pretense... the deceit... it was stifling. He just wanted to be able to relax and be with Cas whenever he wanted. 

'Okay,' Sam crossed his arms, waiting for his brother to deliberate. He had a feeling he knew where this was going.

'I-I...Um...' Cas smiled at him again and he melted, the words seeming to pour out of him easily. 'I love Cas and we've been together for a couple of months now.'

Sam blinked - well that had come out a lot easier than he'd expected. 'Wow. Together. You two,' he pointed a finger between them mockingly. 'Really. Who'd a known?' he snorted.

Dean blinked and finally tore his eyes away from Cas to spare his brother a quick glance. 'You already knew,' he said with dawning embarrassment. 

'Well, yeah... was kinda obvious,' he said rubbing the back of neck awkwardly.

'Okay,' said Dean recovering quickly. 'You okay with it?' and Cas wondered for a minute, if he wasn't okay with it, what Dean would do.

But Sam just starred at his brother in disbelief - was he being  _serious?_

'Dean,' he said in all seriousness. 'Don't be an idiot.'

'But-'

'I'm fine with it. Hell, I'm really happy for you guys. Now go kiss your angel - I can see you're itching to.'

'Um,' Dean felt the heat rising to his cheeks. He felt a little dumbstruck as Sam clapped him on the shoulder and left the room hastily, calling back over his shoulder:

'Took you guys long enough.'

Dean gave Cas a sheepish look. 'Well that went well,' he said smiling and Dean smiled back. He felt the level of self-restraint he'd been exercising over the last few minutes ought to have earned him a medal. 'Would you like a slice of pie, Dean?' he asked, setting the steaming dish down on the side.

'Hell, yeah,' Dean said crossing the room and in one broad sweeping movement, scooping Cas into his arms, pushing him up onto the worktop and kissing him senseless. 

 

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you if you read all of that, I hoped you enjoyed it and I would really appreciate it if you could leave me some feedback. I know it's kind of long for a first chapter but the other chapters will probably be a similar length. I've thought about splitting each of the four chapters into three (so there will be twelve all together) so please let me know if you think that would be a better idea but this is the way I originally conceived it. Will try to have the next chapter up soonish. Thanks so much for reading! Jems xxx
> 
> (P.S. You can find me on Tumblr at: onceuponadestiel - feel free to browse and leave me a message :) Jems x)


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